My maternal grandfather left us on the 2nd September 2016.
This is dedicated to you.
With love, your quietest granddaughter, ‘tomar shanto nathni’ x
3 Things To Remember After Losing A Loved One
It’s only been a few days since your passing and still we cannot bring ourselves to talk about you in the past tense; cannot utter words such as ‘funeral’ or ‘died’ without thinking it’s still a dream.
There are a few things that I’ve had to keep telling myself in the last few days that are helping me come to terms with this harsh truth:
Life and death: the unfair, fragile dance that few can get their head around.
1. Don’t Blame The Things That Make A Person Unique For Taking Them Away
You were an extraordinary man.
People won’t fully understand what I mean when I describe you as a spiritual man, unless they knew you.
As a devotee, disciple and student of Paramahamsa Hariharananda, Guru Dev, a revered Kriya Yogi, you embodied the meaning of spiritualism to the highest degree, to a level of higher consciousness most can only dream of.
For this reason people often blamed your calling: Kriya Yoga, for taking you away from us. But this was in fact what saved you all those years ago when you yourself lost your mother, Ma’s Thakurma, my great-grandmother. Kriya Yoga gave you a purpose, it gave helped you find your path and in doing so, it helped you transcend all ego: to always see the good and the light in others.
If anything Kriya shows us what an inspiring man you were. Everyone who knew you knew you to be that person.
2. Life Works In Mysterious Ways
When we first heard about what happened, when we calculated and understood that life, as we know it, left your body at the same time my grandma (Thamma) was given a second breath of life following her successful tracheostomy.
All we could think of was how could life be so unfair?
How could life not grant us at least some grace; why hurtle more grief onto an already difficult time and situation? Ma had only just changed her flights to come back early from India, for Thamma…and now she was praised with the loss of her father’s life?
In one breath: to take one life away and to give some sort of life back?
How? And Why?
I have no explanation.
To your family and to any family grieving a loved one a life will always be taken away too early. In your case, perhaps your passing was down to a higher mission. This may only make sense to the people that knew you but even then it be something that it is completely beyond our comprehension. You obtained the 6th stage of Kriya Yoga Consciousness, at this stage, much like all spiritual yogis, there is a higher pull towards something greater than our everyday pettiness on this earth. Though it may still feel unfair to us because we wanted more of your time but the truth is, maybe you were called. One day, perhaps we’ll understand the why or the how but for now, all we can be is grateful for the times we have experienced with you and the lessons you’ve taught us.
3. Let Go of Guilt That Does Not Serve You
I have to keep telling myself and others:
We had no control over the time of your death nor the way in which you left us.
There are things we did not get to do together, you were unable to visit and you knew already that we were experiencing difficult times.
Deep in my heart I know you did not leave, being angry with any of us.
My wish: that somehow you help those that may be harbouring guilt to find it within themselves to let go and trust in whatever this higher plan was for you.
My belief: that as your soul is freed, you’re able to transcend all obstacles and resistances you were facing here and use this freedom to offer guidance in the way your heart so deeply desired.
In doing so, your presence will be omnipresent and not dictated by location.
Miracles Only Occur If You’re Willing To Believe in Them
Hindus believe that when a person dies on Earth, their soul needs to be fully released and remains ‘in limbo’ until a decision on the soul’s fate into the afterlife.
In order to help the soul be transported safely to its required destination, there are certain pujas and rituals family members can do to aid the process.
In the hours and days following your passing, certain miracles presented themselves.
- We heard how peaceful you looked before the cremation, as if you were sleeping soundly, no sign of pain or discomfort. Almost as if you, yourself were at peace with the whole process already.
- Instead of an unknown priest to take the service, a family friend mentioned that his flight abroad had suddenly been cancelled and that he would happily do it. This meant that he could also translate key ancient Sanskrit scriptures so that we could understand fully the meaning of each offering.
- Furthermore, this aunt & uncle had all the rare and key components (which would have been impossible for us to source at such late notice) to make the ceremony run so smoothly.
- We realised that everything needed for the funeral rites, for the 13 days of mourning, the arrangements – you’d taken care of already – so neatly and precisely.
Maybe this is what you had planned and hoped for.
Little things added together make me realise there are no coincidences.
These are only small signs that your soul are at peace and on its rightful path.
Your spirit lives on.
May you guide us in transcending all ego, to look for the light and miracles in life, no matter how much darkness life plunges us into.
The light, peace and courage we’re trying to muster is the light that we see in you.
Your spirit lives on in your – family, your 3 daughters, your 3 granddaughters and your wife, as well as all the people you have touched with your presence.
Rest in Peace Dadu
onto your next spiritual journey,